Because you, Natsuki

Tomorrow will be brighter with me around
But when today is dim, I can only look down.
My looking is a little more forward
Because you look at me.

When I want to say something, I say it with a shout!
But my truest feelings can never come out.
My words are a little less empty
Because you listen to me.

When something is above me, I reach for the stars.
But when I feel small, I don't get very far.
My standing is a little bit taller
Because you sit with me.

I believe in myself with all of my heart.
But what do I do when it's torn all apart?
My faith is a little bit stronger
Because you trusted me.

My pen always puts my feelings to the test.
I'm not a good writer, but my best is my best.
My poems are a little bit dearer
Because you think of me.

Because you, because you, because you.

***
The sweetest Natsuki's poem.

As I Walked Out One Evening by WH Auden

As I walked out one evening,
   Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
   Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
   I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
   ‘Love has no ending.

‘I’ll love you, dear, I’ll love you
   Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
   And the salmon sing in the street,

‘I’ll love you till the ocean
   Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
   Like geese about the sky.

‘The years shall run like rabbits,
   For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
   And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
   Began to whirr and chime:
‘O let not Time deceive you,
   You cannot conquer Time.

‘In the burrows of the Nightmare
   Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
   And coughs when you would kiss.

‘In headaches and in worry
   Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
   To-morrow or to-day.

‘Into many a green valley
   Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
   And the diver’s brilliant bow.

‘O plunge your hands in water,
   Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
   And wonder what you’ve missed.

‘The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.

‘Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
   And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
   And Jill goes down on her back.

‘O look, look in the mirror,
   O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
   Although you cannot bless.

‘O stand, stand at the window
   As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
   With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
   The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
   And the deep river ran on. 


// One of my absolute favorites.

Eagles Can Fly, Natsuki

Monkeys can climb

Crickets can leap

Horses can race

Owls can seek

Cheetahs can run

Eagles can fly

People can try

But that's about it.

Refugee Blues by WH Auden

Say this city has ten million souls,
Some are living in mansions, some are living in holes:
Yet there's no place for us, my dear, yet there's no place for us.

Once we had a country and we thought it fair,
Look in the atlas and you'll find it there:
We cannot go there now, my dear, we cannot go there now.

In the village churchyard there grows an old yew,
Every spring it blossoms anew:
Old passports can't do that, my dear, old passports can't do that.

The consul banged the table and said,
"If you've got no passport you're officially dead":
But we are still alive, my dear, but we are still alive.

Went to a committee; they offered me a chair;
Asked me politely to return next year:
But where shall we go to-day, my dear, but where shall we go to-day?

Came to a public meeting; the speaker got up and said;
"If we let them in, they will steal our daily bread":
He was talking of you and me, my dear, he was talking of you and me.

Thought I heard the thunder rumbling in the sky;
It was Hitler over Europe, saying, "They must die":
O we were in his mind, my dear, O we were in his mind.

Saw a poodle in a jacket fastened with a pin,
Saw a door opened and a cat let in:
But they weren't German Jews, my dear, but they weren't German Jews.

Went down the harbour and stood upon the quay,
Saw the fish swimming as if they were free:
Only ten feet away, my dear, only ten feet away.

Walked through a wood, saw the birds in the trees;
They had no politicians and sang at their ease:
They weren't the human race, my dear, they weren't the human race.

Dreamed I saw a building with a thousand floors,
A thousand windows and a thousand doors:
Not one of them was ours, my dear, not one of them was ours.

Stood on a great plain in the falling snow;
Ten thousand soldiers marched to and fro:
Looking for you and me, my dear, looking for you and me. 

Пелевин

Два матроса в лесу
обращаются к ветру и сумраку‚
Рассекают листву
жёсткой кожей широких плечей.
Их сердца далеко‚
под ремнями‚ патронными сумками‚
А их ноги‚ как сваи‚
спускаются в сточный ручей.
Император устал.
Ведь дорога от леса до города —
Это локтем поддых
и ещё на колене ушиб‚
Чьи-то лица в кустах‚
санитары‚ плюющие в бороду‚
И другие плоды
разложения русской души.
Он не слышит ни клятв‚
ни фальшивых советов зажмуриться‚
Ни их «ёб твою мать»‚
ни как бьётся о землю приклад —
Император прощается
с лесом‚ закатом и улицей‚
И ему наплевать
на всё то‚ что о нём говорят.
Он им крикнет с пенька:
«In the midst of this stillness and sorrow,
In these days of distrust
may be all can be changed — who can tell?
Who can tell what will come
to replace our visions tomorrow
And to judge our past?»
Вот теперь я сказал‚ что хотел.

Поль Элюар

Наступает рассвет я люблю тебя в жилах моих
еще ночь
Я всю ночь смотрел на тебя
Мне так много еще предстоит угадать
Я в спасительность сумрака верю
Он вручает мне власть
Окутать любовью тебя
Разжечь в тебе жажду
Жить в глубинах моей неподвижности
Твою сущность раскрыть
Избавленье тебе принести и тебя потерять
Днем невидимо пламя.

Ты уйдешь и откроются двери в рассвет
Ты уйдешь и откроются двери в меня.

(Перевод М. Н. Ваксмахера)

Тумас Транстремер "Вермеер"

Крыши у мира нет. Есть – стена, сделай шаг –
и начинается шум, таверна
со смехом и руганью, бой часов и битье по зубам, свояк
с поехавшей крышей, пред коим дрожат безмерно.

Дикий взрыв и топот опоздавших спасателей. Корабли,
надутые ветром и важностью. Деньги, стремящиеся в основе
своей не к тем людям. Претензии, что легли
на претензии. Тюльпаны в поту от предчувствий соцветной крови.

С этого места, сквозь стену – прямехонько в мастерскую,
в мгновенье, живущее дальше само
собой. "Урок музыки" и (я рискую
ошибиться) "Женщина в голубом, читающая письмо" –
она на восьмом месяце, у нее два сердца, но вера
одна. Позади нее карта какой-то Terra

Incognita... Дыхание замирает... Неизвестная голубая
драпировка сливается с креслами. Золотые
гвозди врываются в комнату, застывая
в воздухе, как не забитые, а – влитые.

Уши заложены от глубины и высоты одновременно.
Это – давленье на стену с другой ее стороны.
Оно заставляет явленья парить. А стены
делают кисть устойчивей. Наличие же стены

рано иль поздно толкает на
прохождение сквозь... Это – нужно, хоть после – нужна аптека...
Мир – один, ну а стен... Стена
есть, по сути, часть человека,
ибо знает он или не знает, а это – ген
взрослых... Лишь для детей не существует стен.

Где кончаются стены, там
начинается небо. Как молитва стен пустоте.
И та
лицо обращает и шепчет нам:
"Я – открыта. Я – не пуста".

(пер. И.Кутика).

Перевод Роберта Блая: 

It’s not a sheltered world. The noise begins over there, on the other side of the wall
where the alehouse is
with its laughter and quarrels, its rows of teeth, its tears, its chiming of clocks,
and the psychotic brother-in-law, the murderer, in whose presence
everyone feels fear.

The huge explosion and the emergency crew arriving late,
boats showing off on the canals, money slipping down into pockets
– the wrong man’s –
ultimatum piled on the ultimatum,
widemouthed red flowers who sweat reminds us of approaching war.

And then straight through the wall — from there — straight into the airy studio
in the seconds that have got permission to live for centuries.
Paintings that choose the name: “The Music Lesson”
or ” A Woman in Blue Reading a Letter.”
She is eight months pregnant, two hearts beating inside her.
The wall behind her holds a crinkly map of Terra Incognita.

Just breathe. An unidentifiable blue fabric has been tacked to the chairs.
Gold-headed tacks flew in with astronomical speed
and stopped smack there
as if there had always been stillness and nothing else.

The ears experience a buzz, perhaps it’s depth or perhaps height.
It’s the pressure from the other side of the wall,
the pressure that makes each fact float
and makes the brushstroke firm.

Passing through walls hurts human beings, they get sick from it,
but we have no choice.
It’s all one world. Now to the walls.
The walls are a part of you.
One either knows that, or one doesn’t; but it’s the same for everyone
except for small children. There aren’t any walls for them.

The airy sky has taken its place leaning against the wall.
It is like a prayer to what is empty.
And what is empty turns its face to us
and whispers:
“I am not empty, I am open.”

Julius Caesar

CALPHURNIA
When beggars die there are no comets seen.
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.

CAESAR
Cowards die many times before their deaths.
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear,
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.

***

-Modern text-

CALPHURNIA

When beggars die there are no comets in the sky. 
The heavens only announce the deaths of princes.

CAESAR

Cowards die many times before their deaths. 
The brave experience death only once. 
Of all the strange things I’ve ever heard, 
It seems most strange to me that men fear death, 
Given that death, which can’t be avoided, will come whenever it wants.